I haven’t vanished

You probably thought that I had given up on the whole blogging thing. You would be wrong. I did have a stretch where I had a lot of work to do and it seemed as though a million little tasks popped up. Then I got a cold. However, things are slowing back down. School is getting ready to be done for the semester (yay!) and the end is in sight. Stuff happens.

I am going to give blogmas a try. Posting everyday in December may not happen – and the posts may not be all that long – but I’ll give it my best shot!

That’s all I have to say today. Happy blogging. 🙂


It’s November 

If you write then you probably know that November is all about writing. NaNoWriMo has started. It’s a good thing I did prep work in early October because the last couple of weeks were crazy. There’s still quite a bit of crazy but I have started work on this book of mine. Of course I’m already “behind” but I’m not worried about it. I decided that I would write as much as I could and if I finish then great. If I don’t, the world won’t end. 

I have already had to adjust my outline. The chapter that I thought was one has turned out to be two and may be three before it’s over. I had to change it a little because one of my main characters pointed out that he would never ask that question at a crime scene. So we had to alter the course of events. And I will not tell you what question caused him to change his mind. 

I never considered how sentient these characters become in one’s head. Even after just a few chapters, these characters have very clear ideas about what they would or would not do. I guess the time I spent working on personality paid off.

So that’s where I am right now. Slowly working towards my end goal of a completed novel whether it’s November 30th or some point in December. I decided that victory was completing the story even if it’s not done in one month. Especially since I have a couple other small things I’d like to work on and responsiblities that I need to focus on, like school and the kiddos. I honestly don’t think I’ll finish by the end of the month but I’ll keep working towards the finish line and who knows. Maybe inspiration will strike and cause three thousand words to spill out in one day. 

Happy writing!


Ultimate book tag

Yes, I know, another tag. I want to do a well written post on my NaNoWriMo prep and it’s not finished, so you get another tag. You all know you love it. You do. Trust me. 

1. Do you get sick while reading in the car? No, thankfully. I’ve spent many trips reading. Also bus/train rides when I used public transit.

2. Which author’s writing style is totally unique to you and why? Well, I’m not sure what this is intended to mean. I find Neil Gaiman to have a very unique style although I don’t know that I could say why, exactly.

3. Harry Potter series or Twilight series? Give three points to defend your answer. Well, Harry Potter. I don’t feel as though I need to defend that answer though. I mean, come on…

4. Do you carry a book bag? If so, what’s in it (besides books)? Most of the time because of school. There actually aren’t a lot of books in the bag, honestly. Notebook, laptop, pens and highlighters.

5. Do you smell your books? Only when they’re brand new.

6. Books with or without little illustrations? I can go either way. Little images at the top of a chapter are fine. If we’re talking whole pages, eh. Not so much a fan.

7. What book did you love while reading but later discovered it wasn’t quality writing? I guess the serial type stuff I read in middle school like Sweet Valley High? I’ll be honest, I’ve read some crappy stuff but after the age of about 16, I could tell it was crappy. In many cases, I read it anyway. I still read fan fiction and let’s be honest, a lot of that is less than stellar work.

8. Do you have any funny stories involving books from your childhood? Not really? My fifth grade teacher used to give us bookmarks she crocheted called bookworms. I had quite a collection. I took my books very seriously.

9. What is the thinnest book on your shelves? The Princess Diarist.

10. What is the thickest book on your shelves? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

11. Do you write as well as read? Do you see yourself in the future as an author? I do write. If I publish a book, that would be great. If not, then hey, that’s how life goes.

12. When did you get into reading? I’ve kind of always been into it. My mom tells me Sesame Street taught me to read at age 3. I’ve been reading ever since. I have read an awful lot of books in the interim…

13. What is your favorite classic book? Probably The Scarlet Letter.  

14. In school, was your best subject Language Arts/English? Not really. I was better in science.

15. If you were given a book as a present that you had already read and hated, what would you do? Give it away, I suppose.

16. What is a lesser known series that you know of that is similar to Harry Potter or the Hunger Games? So, this question makes no sense. Those two series are nothing alike. I’ve read lots of series. What counts as lesser known?

17. What is a bad habit you always do while blogging? Forget to blog…

18. What is your favorite word? Breakfast. It’s also my favorite meal.

19. Are you a nerd, dork or a dweeb? Or all three? I am a geek. Of many things but still a geek.

20. Vampires or fairies? Why? Fairies, maybe? They’re interesting characters. Kind of vague question…

21. Shapeshifters or angels? Why? Angels have lots of potential for wierd story lines.

22. Spirits or werewolves? Why? Are we talking about Remus Lupin? He’s the best werewolf ever. Otherwise, spirits. Again, more interesting story options.

23. Zombies or Vampires? Why? Whoever wrote this must have been a Twilight fan. Vampire, in this case because I don’t like zombies.

24. Love triangle or forbidden love? Yup, they were a twilight fan. Forbidden love. I don’t like writing love triangles.

25. Full on romance or action with some love scenes mixed in? Action. You can’t do all romance all the time. Too boring.

Nursing School, Uncategorized

I Quit Nursing School

Ok, so maybe I didn’t quit, exactly. Still, there are those moments that you have where you are frustrated and tired and don’t really see why you’re still doing this. After all, in the midst of it, the end seems to never come and you just don’t feel as though going forward is an option. I mean, I’ve got a job right?

So here are the reasons I’ve come up with to keep myself going even when I want to curl up in a ball and give up.

  1. This isn’t never ending. It only seems that way. Seriously. When I started I felt like this was never going to end. Now I only have eight months left and I still have days where I feel like it’s never going to end. This is especially true when the day has been bad. It will end. Eventually.
  2. Attitude is a self-fulfilling prophesy. We all have bad days. Sometimes we have bad weeks. It’s easy to let the bad take over your attitude and that makes everything worse. While nobody expects you to be “Happy Fun Ball” (props if you know what that’s a reference too), if you’re always thinking down, things will always look down. Try to think up a little.
  3. Why did you start this journey? Most people have a reason why they went to nursing school. Nobody does this on a whim (it’s to hard to get in to even consider that ish). Find that reason and remember it. Keep it in the front of your mind so that when you have that bad day you remember to keep going.
  4. Remember that you are smart enough to do this. I mean, you’re here right?
  5. It’s worth it. The end result is completely worth it. It just is. Think about how many people want to be where you are right now.
  6. There is an end. This is worth repeating. It seems exhausting and never ending and in truth it is. There are long days and long nights and paperwork that seems to never end. It will end though.

I need a countdown somewhere…

I hope everyone had a good day. Most of you probably had a better day than me. 😉 I’m still going… Frustration and all.


Reflections on a quote

“From childhood’s hour I have not been as others were, I have not seen as others saw.” -Edgar Allen Poe

This particular quote has always been one that has spoken to me. I suspect that’s at least partially because of the fact that I was a sensitive child. I didn’t have a lot of friends and I never felt much like I fit in. When you cry at school, you get labeled a baby and nobody wants to be friends with that person. I was also very much a reader. I can see the benefits of that now but at the time it felt as though I was cut off from other kids. I didn’t like most sports (hockey and baseball being the exceptions) and I was incredibly uncoordinated in any case. So while other kids played games during recess in middle school, I sat off to the side and read a book by myself.

I loved Star Trek for the ideas that it proposed. Meeting new species and exploring the world. A place where everybody was equal. I made up stories in my head and read books about secret worlds in closets or by traveling through a tesseract (my spelling may be off there…). Ultimately, all the books resulted in my realizing that I see the world through a different lens. Or perhaps the books resulted in that lens being different. Either way, I saw things differently. Time resulted in that sensitive person building a thick wall where I saw lots of things but never felt like I was a part of those things. Going through high school and generally feeling like you’re an outsider looking in is a strange thing. I have no nostalgia. I look back at those years and it’s like recalling a tv show. I watched things happen around me. I have wondered sometime how that experience is different if you actually experience it.

The people who see life through a lens, separated from it – the outsiders, I suppose – are a unique group of people. What happens to those people? Well, I know that in my case, I eventually had some therapy and accepted that those were my experiences. Time can’t be turned backwards. It is what it was and thinking about how it could have been different is a useless thing. Other people don’t handle things so well. I laughed when I saw the seen in Billy Madison where he calls up a kid he bullied when he was in school and later that kid saves him. I laughed through Napoleon Dynamite, thinking about how, in a slightly bigger school I might have been able to find a few more people and perhaps have had some of those best friend moments where you look back with someone and laugh about an inside joke.

Seeing the world differently is not such a bad thing. It’s only when you allow it to separate you from the world that it becomes bad. The world is a rough place and it certainly could do with more kindness. That doesn’t mean that in those dark times it’s a good thing to build up a wall and become isolated. This is much easier to recognize more than twenty years later but it’s an important lesson and one that I suspect few people realize. Perhaps, as children, we need to learn to protect ourselves, especially if we are very sensitive. Perhaps the world would be very different if sensitivity was viewed as a good thing instead of a bad thing. Just some things to think upon.


Brief Update

I’m going to try for an actual schedule on this blog of mine. With any luck, that will mean posts on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. We’ll see how this goes.


Two days in my life

Since I have very different days depending on what I have to do for school, I figured I’d take the day in my life theme and show you two days that are just a little different.  As with all things nursing school, your mileage may vary based on how your program operates. 

Wednesday 8/23

Alarm goes off at 5:45. Debate with self about getting up. Decide to get up. Wash face, brush teeth, take medicine, get dressed. Find breakfast. Today, I am tired so cottage cheese and fruit wins. Coffee. So much coffee.

6:20 Wake up children. Argue with both children about the necessity of them getting dressed because I have to go to class. Feed children. Check bullet journal. Way to much to do. Study as children eat.

7:15 Inform children that we need to leave in ten minutes and that they need shoes. Remind son to find his glasses. Follow daughter around until she puts on shoes. 

7:30 Leave. Drive 15 minutes to drop kids off at camp. Drive 20 minutes to school.

8:10 Get to class. Lament that you did not study enough and feel lost on this topic. Take several deep breaths. Go to the bathroom.

8:30 Take test

9:40 Listen to lecture. Wonder what to eat for lunch. Check bullet journal again. Stress about how much there is to do.

11:45 Psych orientation for clinical. Math test review. Grades on psych test (!).

12:00 Drive to McDonalds. Eat single cheeseburger that took way to long to get (did they have to make the cheese??). 

12:20 Stop at grocery store to get items (OJ, apples, bananas) for teacher breakfast the next day.

12:40 Finally get to kid’s school. Head to office. Hand over food for tomorrow. Go to classroom to help teacher for PTO. Arrange books for an hour and a half.

2:00 Drive to pick up children. Call daughter’s doctor to find out if paperwork for school is ready. Drop off library books.

2:25 Get children. 

2:45 Get home. Check email, Facebook, fan fiction, start clinical paperwork for next day.

4:00 Make spaghetti for dinner. 

4:30 Dinner is finished early. Work on clinical paperwork some more. Eat dinner. Take more medicine.

5:30 Change and drive to Y to run.

6:00 Run. 3 miles. 

6:45 Drive home, get gas.

7:00 Get home. Start getting children ready for bed (showers, etc). Finish clinical paperwork (well most of it). Look over notes from lecture today. 

8:00 Threaten daughter that she will lose electronics if she doesn’t quit watching videos and go brush her teeth. 

8:30 Put daughter to bed. Sit on her bed and watch YouTube for a bit. 

9:00 Put son to bed. Clean out cat litter. Go back to kitchen and do dishes (most of them). Grab laundry basket from son’s room and put clothes in to wash.

9:40 Take shower, brush teeth, find scrubs for clinical. 

10:10 Check alarm. Collapse into bed.

Thursday 8/24

5:45 Alarm goes off. Argue with self about getting up again. Decide I have to get up. Wash face, braid hair, brush teeth, get dressed.

6:10 Decide on scrambled eggs. Eat breakfast. Lots of coffee. Find clinical paperwork. 

6:30 Drive to clinical site. Children are not my job this morning.

7:15 Find new clinical site. 

7:30 Clinical.

1:00 Leave clinical. Find lunch. Drive to daughter’s doctor to get paperwork. Drive to craft store to get paper for project that I have needed to do since May. 

2:00 Get home. Leave paperwork where I can find it. Count out how many pills the school will need. Put remaining meds in spare container for now. Put craft paper on table. 

3:00 Go pick up children. 

3:45 Get home. Remind children that open house is at 5 and we leave at 4:30. Go over clinical paperwork. Look at discussion board. Opt to do it later. Look over lecture notes again.

4:25 Remind children we leave in 5 minutes. Tell them to find shoes. 

4:45 Leave. 

5:15 Open house at kids’ school. 

6:30 Head home.

7:00 Remind daughter that she has to get ready for bed.

Repeat previous night’s antics.

All of this insanity is managed with my bullet journal. Soon I will have a post about the journal and what it looks like now. I realize I have been promising this for a bit. I think I’m trying for one blog a week guaranteed with extras if I can. So at worst, it’ll be next week. Honest! Until next time, lovely people!